My fifth month of pregnancy is almost over and I think I am being hit by prenatal depression. Most of it actually involves patience. Like for instance the gender of the baby. I can’t wait for a couple of weeks to know if our baby’s a boy or a girl. This hinders me from experiencing the excitement of finalizing a name and from buying baby things. Well, actually I do have a female name in mind and I plan to tell Gary about it as soon as we learn that we really are having a baby girl.

Next is my growing fear of not being able to go back to work without me being able to do anything about it. It’s because I don’t think it is advisable for me to go through the hiring process with my stomach bulging. That means I have to wait a couple of months before I can seriously start looking for a job. Yes I love staying at home, attending to my family’s needs and believe it or not earning big (though big is a relative word), but then I realized I am more productive when accompanied with all of those, I am still pursuing a career. Besides, my social life is dying, though I am not really sure if it’s because of literally staying at home and not going out of our condo or because of zero SMB lights nights due to my pregnancy.

Another frustration is not being able to do my beauty regimen. That includes hair relax, body spa and massage, facial and a whole lot more that I am not willing to divulge. (haha!) Imagine I can’t even wear my favorite perfume because I hate the smell of it now. Not even my favorite St. Ives facial wash. I am just so thankful that my nose hasn’t ballooned yet, no pimples showing and my neck hasn’t changed its color. But then again, I don’t feel confident about myself.

This baby is really teaching me the value of patience and has been keeping me on my toes for what could happen in the near future. As of now, all I could really do is WAIT WAIT and WAIT and have the most of what I am enjoying right now… which surprisingly is a bit depressing.

Almost two months of being a full-time housewife and mother gave me realizations that I guess mothers cannot fully understand not until they’ve experienced BEING at home.

• There is no such thing as ENOUGH time spent with children… the more you spend time with them, the more you realize they need more of your presence and attention.
• To know them is TO BE with them.
• Asking someone to look after your children is delegating a very big responsibility.
• You will never run out of errands at home, from bills to grocery to repairs to processing papers… the list goes on…
• Not because you’re the parent and you provide everything your children needs mean that you should push your children to follow all the rules you set at home. Be flexible enough to adjust the rules based on your child’s personality and environment he’s exposed to, without of course sacrificing the values you want to impart. Sometimes all they need is understanding and everything will be ok.
• Patience is really a virtue.
• Looking after and taking care of your children brings out the best in them, not the material things that we thought would matter.

I know I’ll be learning a lot more the coming months ahead. Yes it’s not easy to give out all your effort and time serving your children and husband but I am happy that I’m doing it and I believe soon I will see the positive effects of me being at home.

Lately I am having a change of heart. I used to think that I cannot be a full time housewife because lack of brain activity will kill me. But now, I am on the verge of resigning because of these two adorable kids waiting for me everyday as I come home from work. Maybe I just needed a break. Maybe I would just want to experience having nothing to think about but my husband and kids for a couple of months. Maybe God is telling me that my kids need my time more than the money I take home each month. I don’t know. All I know is that I would want to spend more time with my kids each day. And guess what, my husband feels the same way too… ahahah…

The first time I heard about ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder was 5 years ago when it was featured on television. This documentary would most likely have an impact only to those experiencing or seeing somebody experience the symptoms. I never imagined that a healthy and hyperactive child may have the possibility of having a behavioral disorder. But lucky for kids experiencing ADHD nowadays, they have the chance to be assessed and undergo appropriate corrective actions before its too late.

I remember when I was a kid, I was also hyperactive. It was difficult for me to remain seated (if I do sit at all) and keep quiet. Falling or being stuck is a normal scenario to me. I even locked myself once in the bathroom with no keys to open the door. 

When I was in Grade 1, I remember my mom crying and talking to my school adviser. I should have been the first honor, but thanks to my conduct which was B-, I was disqualified in the honor roll. (gosh… now I understand how frustrated my mom was). All throughout my elementary and high school days, although I was consistently in the top 10, I was always noisy and talkative. (To think that at that time, I was wondering why I was not getting a Christian Living award! Poor me.) During recess, I don’t want to spend time with studious and behaved girls. I’d rather go with the happy-go-lucky brood. (Aw! That is why I prefer playing with boys).

Now that I have a degree and have a decent job, I still do experience misdemeanors. At work, when I don’t like what I’m doing or didn’t like the person I am working with, I tend to be inefficient, emotional, display low self-esteem and worry about being judged.
I also have problem focusing on work when I have something in mind and I want to do it right away. These symptoms push me to be impulsive and well change jobs frequently. (haha! Plus the fact that I get easily bored when I get used to my responsibilities).    

Am I saying that I had and still have ADHD? I don’t know and wouldn’t want to know. I guess its too late for me to undergo therapy or even medication. And so far things are going great for me, except for some difficulties at times. All I want to tell you is that before we “brand” a person, specially kids as “pasaway, makulit o tamad,” let us give the person a chance to be understood. (I’m guilty with this!)