Courage

One of my favorite descriptions of  Courage is from an American author, Jim Butcher. He said that “Courage is about learning how to function despite the fear, to put aside your instincts to run or give in completely to the anger born from fear. Courage is about using your brain and your heart when every cell of your body is screaming at you to fight or flee—and then following through on what you believe is the right thing to do.” 

Because for me, despite my weaknesses and all the uncertainties in the world, I have chosen, over and over, to live my life with courage. I have changed homes, changed careers, been to many places, learned and unlearned a lot of things, became a follower, entrusted as a leader, business owner, a life partner and a parent of four. And to top it all, we uprooted ourselves and left our good life in the Philippines.

The idea of transferring to a first world country gave me mixed emotions. But the excitement of being in a new place and the idea of giving our children more opportunities and a better future overshadowed the fear of facing the unknown. First few months were definitely a honeymoon stage. I loved the idea of experiencing 4 seasons instead of 2, experiencing the comfort and consumerism in America, and enjoying the vacation-like feeling of discovering another country. 

All fun, you bet, until we realized that we should start working on our responsibilities as a lawful permanent resident. Tax, social security, insurance, health care, credit score, bank account, driver’s license, own a house, children’s school… and the list goes on. Things that we either have long ago established in PH (that does not matter here) or those that we don’t even have/do in PH. Imagine cramping your to do list from teenage years to adulthood in months just to keep up. 

And then you think about your family, relatives, friends and colleagues in the Philippines. The food you grew up eating, the places you love going to, the people you can depend on, the reunion and parties that you never miss, and the Christmas season that starts September. Also, the things that we enjoy here in America that we can’t even share with the people we care about back home. White Christmas is not worth it after all. 

And then covid.

Many times we have considered giving this all up. But, weighing the pros and cons, our children’s future still tops our priority list. 

Ending this blog with a quote from President Biden; 

“Every immigrant comes to America from different circumstances and for different reasons. But like previous generations of immigrants…. there is at least one common trait: Courage. It takes courage to leave behind everything you have ever known – your homes, lives, and loved ones – and start a new life in another country.”

I have made the decision to give up my country of birth for good. Courage wins again.